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i'm still figuring things out

Senhorinha - Rita PayĆ©s, Elisabeth Roma Sorry to go back on my words, I'm still figuring things out. I suppose I enjoy being alone; So long as I have people to wait on --- be gone a day or two, But coming back, to me, after a while. I suppose I do better with the wait than the solitude of ambiguity. I suppose I enjoy silence, so long as it is soon to be broken. By cheerful banter, stifled laughter, My mother singing in the kitchen. I suppose I do better with the laughter Than the music lonely in the background.  And if we are already supposing, I should also suppose that I might love someone later on, And it should break my heart now To succumb to the depths of marriage later. I suppose that kind of tenderness might find me, in time, and soften these rigid walls. I was so different, last April. But, I'm still figuring things out. 

on an unsuspecting Thurday, last week of March

Samm Henshaw - Hair Down Well, would you have it? All the things I did not have on my agenda. Woke up to violent screaming,  My neighbours' racist spectacle.  Left the window open to let the light in --- and the verbal debauchery.  I could use some unprecedented hatred as fuel. And my brain slept on campus,  Dread was the last thing I knew. Before I started, you know ---- to get my steps in,  Next thing I know, I flew! Bike  and a red light ---- that evidently mattered little,  Another case of hit and run,  So the biker left its flailing target and bid adieu! And I waved back!  To extend my clause of luck. I realised my injuries had all stuck to my right side. The side that means most to me --- Knocked up knees that had started to heal, Arms that had lost the charm of  First time flying off a scooty. So I went home to my flat, crying on the lift up Stopped on the wrong floor and had to look up ---  Ah, my bewitching landlord. Peered...

this lucky, unlucky living

Dearest reader, Here is politics --- we people of little power must toil and try to earn, What is bestowed like a gift, this lucky living. And, yes, we share the same God, So, grateful must we be for the little that we get and the plenty they receive --- this lucky, unlucky living. Sincerely, sincerely, with smiles and gunpowder, non-poet writing sad, limp, non-politics. 

i fear there is a living much beyond this

Mitski - Working for the Knife I fear there is a living much beyond this I fear I exist in places I do not know. A friend wrote to me, said he finds no peace --- the way we yearn for a thing we do not yet know.  Alas, the air has warmed Spring has so quickly come and gone. All before I could awaken That winter slumber, my seeds not yet sown. I fear there is a living made for a taller person, a better woman, and she flourishes in the avenues --- Atlantis of peoples' souls. And they tell me about her, eyes gleaming, that hopeful pearly gaze, Hand me her shoes, her gown, her coat, But I have not yet grown.

it takes two to tango

Melody Gardot - Um Beijo it takes two to tango, they say so, will you speak gently to me? if i spew fire, be water --- you know if i miss a step, you may go ahead and miss a step or two so then, i may correct you --- you know and you may keep your hands folded in prayer, whichever God lest in whimsy, they decide to roam --- you know keep up with the beat until I tire and lean, then your hands may do other things --- you know

little life

So this is what they call living this perpetual trying -           lift the legs off the bed            and feel the earth beneath. I woke up to the ground shifting and a lark knocking on my window. There seems to be a new life waiting. But I call it off, and tell the lark to spread the news -  I will be there tomorrow.

this dullness like a veil over my head

Alice Phoebe Lou - Hammer this dullness like a veil over my head so bleak has the world become a massacre of the nerves as the veil holds me - a not knowing of what to be. this dullness like curtains drawn light seeping in just slightly warm does the room become and so, i cannot deny the Sun. a waiting for something to happen to ask a favour                "tell me something good" this dullness like shadows against fabric a tracing of the joy i once knew.