to love is to grieve

gracie abrams - i miss you, i'm sorry

The last time I wrote about you,

I hadn't realised it yet 

but I had harboured love for you

in my own tiny ways

though they later transformed into much bigger things.

I went home.

You know this.

I flew back a few hours ago.

You no longer know this.

I realise I was aching while I had you

and now I'm aching because the loss is settling

I'm grieving what could have been

and you

and your goodness

and the way you loved me.

I wear your shirt.

You'd have loved this.

I cry into your shirt.

You'd have hated this.

I must be getting better if I'm grieving love.

a few weeks ago,

I had questioned its existence

but I know it now though I only know it

because I reached for it,

and it was no longer there.

You missed me terribly;

I knew this.

I now miss you even more so;

You might never know this.

~ ៷