another semester, another flight

its the sunniest it's been since my winter vacations

and the prettiest sunset ive seen in Delhi yet

a blue fading into yellow bleeding into orange

then pitch black into the horizon

when our flight was still yet 4 hours away

i sat behind my brother in the driver's seat

jazz playing, holding my mother's hand, arm rest between us

the dried blood that pooled under my skin fell off

like the heels that broke before new year's day's church service

sunny unlike the cloudy winter i had to say goodbye to

i was grateful for the extra 4 hours

my mother knew i was pregnant with dread

and only women know what it means to be full of fear of the unknown

last night mordechai and the eldest came over

we had whiskey and wine and fed the bonfire laughter

it was full before we decided to leave for lemon cake

philosophical discourse, questions about religion

making fun of our differences

savouring who we are, missing each other before the seat is empty

i wish i were the one waiting, often

i could make a home here, i appreciate the changing seasons and trees best

and i take care of people i love - it's in my marrow - i dont know that i am good at anything else

i have two moles on the soles of my feet

salu says it means i will travel often

the other night i dreamt I had carved them out and left two gaping holes

and the blood that poured out seeped into my hair

when i woke up i still had to leave; moles intact

i wished they were birth marks from another life

another girl who carved them out and grew roots from the blood instead

The Noresoup Jukebox