The Noresoup Jukebox

MESS U MADE - MICHELLE it was the heat or maybe the moist air or perhaps it was the summer that pushed me to leave;  for it is rare for me to not care but i listened to my mother cry and shout in that unforgiving weather she looked at me with so much anger i wonder if i could ever look at my daughter  that way my mother seems more concerned that people might hate her but i am her daughter i am her and i wish she cared  more  that i feel this way is this punishment  for straying for feeling and acting  in ways that she wishes she could change? what a shame  what a shame  what a shame how could a daughter feel this way? if i write about it, will she despise that I've written about her a certain way? So then, I take it all back. curse the thumb that bleeds! For it was the heat or perhaps the moist air and maybe even the summer that made me realise I could no longer stay. ~ ៷

Chet Baker - I've Never Been In Love Before to be loved and have someone to love to be lucky to enjoy the gift of life when my whole life was spent striving to win imagine my surprise having you by my side and perhaps it scares me that it is with much ease that i find myself in you, with you, around and beside you loving has never been so slow with anyone else ~ ៷

Writer’s note: This poem is a Golden Shovel that borrows the line “the water is tender, green, curls, softly innocent, a lazy noose in the sunlight, I loved you, I know” from Olga Bromus’ poem “Love Lines” I remember our first trip, it was like the warmth came from you but cold was the water and I can't say what it is that makes your eyes so tender when you look at me, the grass turns green birds dance around my red, unruly curls that you stroke ever so softly well I've never loved but if I do, it is innocent it is for you and a few apologies are due if my ways get lazy but you understand, loving can become a noose no matter the colour of crazy it comes in it is scary that the world is brighter with you as sunlight and it must be embarrassingly obvious to you that i have never known what it means to die and be loved and that too, by you - no lover as fortunate as I as to say when asked about love - I know, I know, I know.  ~ ៷

Lana Del Rey - Norman F Rockwell fathers without their mothers i mean, fathers without their wives burdens heavy on a daughter's shoulders are burdens a mother had her whole life fathers without their mothers are fathers without forgiving wives  if i had to scale the mountain and put you across,  id rather you just book a flight fathers without their mothers fathers and their unfortunate wives cleaning up after you, grumbling, crying until their work appeases you, they cannot look alive men without women women loving men men fawning over other women women forgiving men men will find all the reasons to leave and women will still find spaces to keep them; i loved a man once, twice and then a third, but after the fourth, it was clear; men will always just be men.  ~ ៷

Lorde - Solar Power Last autumn, I was barely scraping by. The world seemed to have only tar in store for me. It became funny, my friends and I, We laughed at every unfortunate thing. I lost my phone and my hair fell out. On my birthday week, I might have lost 100 pounds. And a girl I loved told me I was mean and foul, That my years of friendship didn't count. When my finals came, I was drunk on caffeine. I was limping from the acid eating at my stomach. My friends could only watch, grimace and clean As I carried my tired body from my bed, desk and tub.  When I slept I often wondered why, The ceiling could not tell me, so I prayed and cried. But faith means trust that doesn't die, So I told myself, it would only be for a short while. Well, now it is summer; the storm has passed. I look around and see that things never last. My debts have been paid and I hope it's true, That at the end of all of this, He saved the biggest blessing; you. ~ ៷

(Using the Golden Shovel method, this is an excerpt from Mary Oliver’s “Don’t Hesitate.”) "Anyway, whatever it is, don't be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb." I shall not stray away, for I will want to return anyway. You can eat a flower or put the petals in whatever Or you can leave it be and time will still be unkind to it. The bouquet is dying as it is So if you desire to try to keep it alive, don’t! Set it free, let it die, leave it be. Yet still, you wouldn’t lose a penny to stop being afraid. For fear reminds us of what the world is fondest of; the terrible unknowns, the tragedies, the darkness and its unforgiving wit, the stories of which are gruesome and plenty. For every fortnight, on my bedside, sits fragile joy. I greet her, and she smiles, bliss is what she is And yet, her countenance shows not The many fears that she has made. For when she is gone who shall I turn to? In her absence is solitude and that cannot be. Thus, I shall allow sleep ...

Lana Del Rey - Get Free I'm at the end of the road it seems there's a bridge ahead that I must cross a land of possibilities awaits, with greater pains and higher costs I am woman, I am woman my youth beams at me from behind silent prayers that led me here louder cries that kept me alive when my feet took me to the edge of the cliffs my future held me back "There is a bridge yet that you must cross this is not the end, you must revert, you must head back." And so I did,  it took every fibre of my being it took me all my youth to allow joy and it took me a few hundred hours to look in the mirror  to stare at myself, using my eyes and no other and who was I?  Who was I to me? All my youth I had carried others and kept myself asleep. So, here we are, at the end of the road Feet bruised, heart still aching To look behind now means Looking at my losses and to know it was a good thing.  For the heart remembers But the mind often forgets And perhaps that is better For in th...