you're a proper fella!

mordechai, 
i cannot seem to write about myself, 

so i must write to you
the other night you called and i couldn't pick up
it reminded me of the calls i sent you
on the rooftop, turning 20
you were tipsy, i was a crying fool
how much we've grown since then
me lighter
you heavier
with love and gratitude

i made chicken stew the other day
it reminded me of you
and the chicken you boiled in my crappy flat
how you had all 3 kilograms, not one, not two
you pat my head four times

you said there's comfort in change

well, say it once, and then again

let it be the only constant thing

for i was blue then

now i have been five other colours

one of them reminiscent of butter

like the love you found just a month later

an unexpected hue of happy

on a bleak sheet of course, unruled paper

mordechai, you're a proper fella!

i always believed in you

the last time i cried, it was only because

i was so glad to meet you

take care of yourself as you have

i have happier tears due

and if no one has said it before

- i pray they say it more -

I'm so very proud of you.