just my luck!
busy day filled with
countless, unexpected additions
countless, unexpected additions
my fervent to-do list
made the most phone calls since spring
asking around for
space
where my big boned frame might fit in.
then, I wondered,
who is he really?
another round of calls
and very rigid promises made
I cannot pull away and bring to my family
shame
though I paid my leave
to a few hundred people
goodbye, actress no longer
then, I wondered,
who is he really?
so, of course,
a phone call to my salula
and a few cards with my younger sister
all the stupid questions
I have not uttered in so very long
and they both say the same thing.
ride the waves, go with the flow,
you seem happy.
then, I wondered,
why this all feels so silly.
salula reminds me
I long dreamed of
person I could talk to about the mundane
like this very ordinary cup.
dreams spoiled by opinions elsewhere
landing right on my lap
warnings written in pretty cursive
saying he's no good for you
writing traits of the man he becomes
with different company
under different suns.
Then came crashing down,
the weight of my responsibilities.
cooked, cleaned, washed the dishes,
made the bed and cold supper for me.
and when I looked to the future,
I felt it all so very bland.
then, I wondered,
had I been so enchanted
as to find solace and joy in his hand?
just my luck!
I suppose I was wrong for dreaming
and pinning my hope
in growing potential ---
person, I thought could hold me steady.
but say it isn't so,
say it isn't so,
say there is change coming.
disappointment only brews
when there was so much good at stake
so they say.
I try to hold my own opinion,
but his changed disposition hushes it away.
bidding adieu, I suppose,
with hesitant hands, waving.
tale as old as time ---
joy comes in so fast
and leaves so very early.
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