how awful it is to be lonely in Vietnam

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5-hour car ride to Sapa 
wish you were at the driver's seat 
then I would talk about everything and anything
and you would know not to disagree 

mountains tall they remind me of you 
landscape so pretty 
they make me feel so blue 
wish we could laugh about my sorry cotton attire
sink into the lovely bed 
sheets and duvet all haywire 

then I put on very pretty things 
no admirer close to you 
whether in Tito Island 
or the busy old quarter 
all my hands know to do 
are call you 

and then a very exhausting day follows me 
lurking in all the hollow stones of Mua Cave
jumping at me from murky Waters 

wallowed in despair all the way home 
and in the sorry hotel balcony 
hands do what they know best 
but only silence greets me 

nothing as excruciating 
as waiting 10 long hours 
and when I get you 
my composure expires

and you tell me we might run away
keep the loveless days with mother at Bay
I crumble 

but I suppose I'm not meant for love that softens 
lay in my bed 
crying 
these poor white sheets 
arguments tossed like flying fish in the sea 

and here in my aching 
I'd hoped 
that if tears come they may never be from you 
but when you offered 
relentless taunting and ridicule 
well 
after such a long hard day 
all I could do 
was
grieve 
how ready I was to love you
and have you
love me

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