The Noresoup Jukebox

Courtney Barnett - Before You Gotta Go i remember the feeling of curls on a new set of teeth and adults around me saying they'd smoothen out the more i talked but i'm not one to converse so i whistled through my teeth to get rid of them of course, it never worked the curls persisted last night, on an auto ride to my apartmen,t i realised i had forgotten the feeling because the curls were no longer there my friend realised along with me and yet i could still recall the sensations of a tooth being pulled out of its sharp ends on my fingertips and the taste of iron from my bloody gums and the tongue remembers the gap between the teeth i guess the feeling of loss never really leaves you like the experience of loose teeth being pulled, forgotten momentarily then, to be relived 2 decades later, but without the same pain from the pull, and the healing that takes place without the knowing like the gums that smoothed out, like the curls that disappeared like the teeth that grew with us,...

lana del rey - for free an old friend sent me a message today. he must be in despair. the last i heard from him, he was down and he was scared. i am the old banisters of my old school, i was glorified once but no longer, so i got him a chair. he was dealing with loss - i wanted to tell him, it's okay, i've been there. the coincidence to have heard from him as i was grieving as well. almost a decade of knowing each other, to be parallels and then to meet when the pain coincides - it is tragic and it is rare. we believe in each other like silly kids and i tell him it will subside. all kinds of things will happen to us as we live to keep ourselves alive. he tells me he liked the 14 year old me he had gotten to know best. i wish he knew me better now because that girl would have liked me better than the rest. but i was glad she was alive in him, i hope i am alive in other people as well. i wanted to tell him he was alive in me, and to keep alive even though life can make a mess. a ...

alice phoebe lou - better it had been a couple of weeks since i saw the sun must be the reason why i'd become undone i looked beyond, ruminated at my prospects funny to find, i didn't want you there so as the roses wilted and whithered away as mould grew on their moist, browning stems i put them out in the sun to dry hoping it might revive what is dead that week when i sat in my stuffy classroom 4 days since i last talked to you i was getting mad at myself for time wasted and the campus witnessed the redhead sob and I sobbed until the campus flooded so I ran back but to find my flat empty solitude can prompt the crazy so i called up the guys and met you there just as you are, seeing through the red realising i was looking too far ahead so i send you a message laced with nonchalance  the next day, i went to class with a black dress eyes puffy, skin wet, cold and  everyone asking me if im fine, i say im alright but that only really started when i went out to the field saw dragon...

i want to write about happiness and the joy of living  i want to arrive and i want to talk about it without fear  with so much courage and i want someone to read it and feel like life is worth living because i know that it is i know that it has to be and yet, what is reason enough still unknown to me

let me - Alice Phoebe Lou my knees can't carry me anymore it seems the fall from summer awakens as autumn settles in, the air icier, meaner the chill biting my bones hurting the cracks that were healing the body is pushing through  with more pain than anticipated i carry too much with me it seems the knees can only handle so much weight and i know this because i met my senior today she asked me how i was and i started  as though sobbing for someone's passing all she could tell me was it was okay  - not that it was going to be what does one take from that? are my knees to buckle later from another deeper tragedy? like the invisible ache under the skin - right at the bone, just outside the marrow i felt silly from the crying, from the trembling from the peers passing by i should be made of harder stuff there is no power in the mundane, the mediocre, the ordinary i went back and someone said my hair looked pretty what does it matter? my hair is made of volatile stuff - 20 ye...

eloise - left side i miss the gold covers of our old couches and the big cushions that i could sink into as i read no i miss you on these couches,  and waiting for you engulfed in these cushions my mom's packed them up, i couldn't tell you where they are now i miss when it gets chilly at night and the sound of the occasional bike moving swiftly  between the corridor of buildings no i miss finding that the sound came from you i miss the warmth of your company i opened the door the other night for another man it was as you said and it didn't feel quite right i miss the smell of my summer lemon cake late-night card games with my old friends the smell of coffee from Kenya no i miss playing cards with you baking you cake, watching you eat sparingly with sips of that filtered coffee from Kenya i miss the dimmed lights in my kitchen i miss the toaster on my counter no  i miss the attempts at conversations in the dark i miss wondering about a person who wondered about me as i wai...

it became certain to me recently that my existence is a railing to lean on, to hold on to when you're just about to slip. And when you have your bursts of energy, your occasional inclination to be joyous, you are encouraged to decorate the bannisters or slide down till the very end. And when you're in a rush, you forget to hold on to me and I watch as you hurry on up to the next floor.  the wooden handrail in my old school was furnished, grand and darkly stained. it had been polished from all the gripping and sliding. and when you moved it at just the right angle, it would shake a little and you could see it come off from the cement steps. These wooden railings were not going to last and they would have to be replaced soon. i felt like the banisters of my old school the other night. i was making a call to a friend or to whom i presumed was a friend. every now and then they come, they lean and then, they go. And what can i say or do but to withstand the weight - the burden of my...

fleetwood mac - landslide a green dragonfly on the hood of dad's car lush green grass trees reaching out, some bearing flowers muddy roads, deeper potholes sun shining, rays fall on the forest like they do in old western, cowboy movies landslide by fleetwood mac my heart's not in it, sung by Matt rashes on my skin from being in this plane but I have to be taken to Delhi despite my desires to be the air, the earth, the dragonflies, the blue sky at 6 am, the clouds that come at noon, the autumn sunsets I haven't seen, the wood that makes my staircase, my mother's ring, and the sound of children playing, laughing, to be the waves that carry them to their parents ears. I ask my dad, butterflies break out of their cocoons in this season; dragonflies are attracted to the leftover puddles. I ask the sky, they tell me the earth has released them all as an embrace, as an "I love you",  before saying their goodbyes.  ~ ៷

gracie abrams - i miss you, i'm sorry The last time I wrote about you, I hadn't realised it yet  but I had harboured love for you in my own tiny ways though they later transformed into much bigger things. I went home. You know this. I flew back a few hours ago. You no longer know this. I realise I was aching while I had you and now I'm aching because the loss is settling I'm grieving what could have been and you and your goodness and the way you loved me. I wear your shirt. You'd have loved this. I cry into your shirt. You'd have hated this. I must be getting better if I'm grieving love. a few weeks ago, I had questioned its existence but I know it now though I only know it because I reached for it, and it was no longer there. You missed me terribly; I knew this. I now miss you even more so; You might never know this. ~ ៷